We can do
more than react to life’s challenges instinctively. We can look forward, decide
what we want, and act accordingly.
This
ability gives us power beyond our wildest dreams and yet so few of us utilize
it anywhere near its full potential.
Life is
Hard
That’s why
decisions even exist. If we lived in a perfect world we would have no
need to even make them. We wouldn’t have to choose between the path of sunshine
and rainbows and that of misery and torture. It would be a no-brainer.
Unfortunately
for us, however, this world is imperfect. There is bad in everything good and
there’s good in everything bad.
Most
decisions are not easy to make. They involve some kind of sacrifice to get
something deemed to have a higher value. You have to give something up to
get something better.
If you
decide to be a better athlete you give up some of your free time, you give up
some of your sleep, you give up comfort and replace it with pain.
But it’s
not in vain.
You’ll
become stronger. You’ll become faster. You’ll have more mental tenacity.
Most of
our lives consist of indecisions
Making a
conscious decision means actively doing something different than you would do
by default. That’s hard. That’s counterintuitive. That feels uncomfortable.
Even if
there’s something we want to gain, we can’t see past the pain. We can’t
always convince ourselves that what we want is worth what we’ll have to go
through.
This occurs
on varying degrees of magnitude every day of our life.
Indecisions
are a product of “but.”
I want to
go meet that beautiful girl, BUT I can’t think of anything to say.
I want to
have deeper connections with the people in my life BUT
I can’t open up to them.
I want to
have a higher job in my company BUT I don’t think I’m the strongest candidate.
We all have
desires. We all want to be more. We all want to have more,but it’s
hard.
We come up
with stories for ourselves
We come up
with these stories for ourselves where we decide we’ll go after what we
want tomorrow.
That turns
into go after what we want “someday.”
That turns
into telling ourselves that it’s just some crazy vision that could never
happen. We’ll tell ourselves we’re being greedy and we should be satisfied with
what we have.
That turns
into convincing ourselves that “we’re happy with where we are.”
But you’re
probably not buying it yet. All people can’t actually think this way, I
mean look at spiritually enlightened monks.
They are fulfilled with having
nothing.
They are an
example of the real end goal: self-growth.
It’s really
about being the kind of person who can go up and talk to beautiful girls when
they want to.
It’s really
about being the kind of person who can share profoundly intimate details about
themselves with people they connect with.
It’s really
about being the kind of person who is capable of doing that more important job.
But how do
you live on purpose?
The only
way to change your life is to change how you think about your decisions.
You won’t
ever be “ready” to go meet that girl.
You won’t
ever be “ready” to be vulnerable.
You won’t
ever be “ready” to go after that promotion.
Why?
The things
that you really want in life are terrifying. If they don’t scare you then
you’ve convinced yourself you want less than you truly desire.
So even if
you truly admit that you want these things, when the moment comes to act on it,
you’re frozen. You can’t do it. You aren’t ready.
You just
need 5 minutes to get in the right mindset. You just need to be in a better
mood. You just need to read more books on the topic first.
The people
who do amazing things realize that they will always need 5 more minutes.
They will always need to be in a better mood. They will always
need to read more on the topic.
But they
act anyway.
Getting
what you want isn’t about being ready, it’s about taking the leap.
Step 1:
Decide what you want
This is the
fun part. All you have to do is dream.
What would
you want in life if you could get anything your heart desired without
having to put in any effort.
Write it
down. That makes it real. Thoughts are powerful, but short of a
fleeting electrical pulse, they aren’t tangible.
An idea
can’t keep you warm on a cold night. An idea can’t keep you from drowning. It’s
the action you take because of the idea you had that truly matters.
When you
write it down you make it real. It now exists outside of your mind. It now
exists in the real world.
Step 2:
Figure out why you want it
This part
is easy too. Just be honest with yourself. It’s not a bad thing to want
something. It’s part of being human.
Why do you
want to talk to beautiful, amazing girls or guys?
- I’m
attracted to them
- I want to
be around them
- I want to
have meaningful relationships with them
Why do you
want to have deeper connections with people in your life?
- I highly
value deep human relationships
- I want to
maximize the benefit of the relationships I have
- I want to
have a connection beyond what I’m having now
Why do you
want to get that better job?
- I want to
have more money to pursue my interests
- I want to
have more authority
- I want to
challenge myself
Write down
just three reasons why you want what you want.
Step 3:
Create a plan
Create a
plan for how you will start doing this for next year.
What
actions could you take next year to make this goal a reality?
- read
books about the topic
- be around
people who are good at doing it
- just go
do it and make it happen incrementally.
Make your
list for what you’ll do next year.
Step
4: Jump off the cliff
Have your
list for next year?
What’s the
first step?
Do it
today.
You won’t
be more ready in a year. You just think you will be because when you imagine
the situation, you just imagine yourself being ready.
Imagining
that dream is necessary. Without doing it you’d never realize what your goal
is.
But that
vision isn’t real. It’s imaginary. It’s helpful but it’s not true.
You won’t
ever be more ready than you are today.
Greatness
is about doing things you don’t want to do because you want to result.
Greatness
is about looking at the opportunity and not at the pain in front of it.
If it
scares you, you’re on the right track.
“Everything
you want is on the other side of fear.”
You’ll
never be ready.
But will
you be courageous?
Yesterday
you said tomorrow...
Culled From Under30ceo.com
Culled From Under30ceo.com
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